


there’s gotta be some butterflies somewhere (wanna share?)

by femmbers



Series: would you be so kind (as to fall in love with me)? [1]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Dan is sick, I Tried, I'm bad at tags, M/M, Phan - Freeform, Phil is also trying to be really kind, Sexual Tension to the Max, actually your always squinting because it gAY, but i mean, except i don't really go into the "dan feels the same lol", except its a little bit of unrequited feelings?, except not really, i edited this too much okay, it's literally just a fever don't worry, its gay if you squint, lol sorry about this, mentions of danganronpa, so its more of "sorry phil idk if dan feels the same", there isn't any actual kissing or anything just a lot of sexual tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-14
Updated: 2017-03-14
Packaged: 2018-10-05 07:45:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10301456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/femmbers/pseuds/femmbers
Summary: Dan has a fever, and Phil tries to care for him without getting his feelings in the way.





	

The microwave beeped, jolting Phil out of his thoughts.

Phil opened the door, steam billowing out into the cool air. The scalding bowl stung his pallid skin. Wincing at the unprotected contact, he called out to Dan, “It’s really hot. Do you want me to put a few ice cubes in it?”

“Phil, how do you always know what I want?” Dan responded. Coughs followed, as was usual. Cursing followed the coughs, as was usual.

“It might be the fact that I’ve been living with you for about six years,” Phil said.

He carried the bowl to the fridge and pulled out an ice cube, careful to drop it in the soup close to the surface so it wouldn’t splash on his pale skin. He dragged a spoon out of a drawer and walked into Dan’s room. He found the bed abandoned, his black and white duvet scattered, a corner been dragged off the bed and onto the floor.

“Dan?” he called. “Are you in the loo?”

“I’m in your room,” Dan answered.

Confusion bubbling in him, he crossed into his own room. Dan was already sprawled under his own blue and green pastel covers, browsing on his computer.

“I needed a change of scenery,” he explained. “Sometimes black and white gets old. I dunno, blue and green is nice right now. I don’t wanna get philosophical about it, but you know, without color it’s just kinda bland.”

Phil swallowed, raised an eyebrow and set the bowl down on the dresser. “I thought you were bedridden, Dan.”

“You thought wrong,” he chirped. “I was bedridden. During that time I walked into your room. I’m now bedridden again, though.”

“That sucks,” Phil said. “I guess I’ll just have to let you watch anime.”

Dan held out his hands. Phil automatically grabbed the soup and pushed it into Dan’s hands. Dan spooned some of the soup into his mouth. He closed his eyes and smiled lazily. “How do you make it so well?”

“By actually following the instructions,” he replied.

Dan scowled. “It’s not my fault that the flavor for the soup looks like sludge.”

“It tastes a lot better when you use the sludge, though,” Phil replied. He sat down on the end of his bed and asked, “Which anime would you like tonight?”

Dan coughed and answered, “Danganronpa.”

“Is that a pun?”

“I guess it is.”

He grabbed his computer and clicked into his Netflix account and immediately clicked into the show on his “Continue Watching” list.

“You can actually get under the covers, you know,” Dan said when the title sequence started up. “I really don’t mind.”

Phil’s mind raced and paused the show. A bit too fast, he responded, “I’ll just go get the popcorn bowl.”

He walked into the kitchen, forgetting what he was supposed to do with his arms and his legs and basically all of his appendages as he walked out of the room. The kitchen had a lone bowl filled up with popcorn, and two boxes of cereal lazily laying against the wall. Phil grabbed a box and took a handful into his mouth. Crunching, he tried to regain a regular heartbeat.

“Phil?”

He flinched, cereal still in his mouth, and answered back to the best of his ability, “Yeah?”

“You’re eating my cereal, aren’t you?”

Phil swallowed quickly and said, “Of course not. Why would I be doing that?”

“Because I can hear you eating it all the way over here.”

“Fair point,” he replied. Phil walked back into his room, this time with a bowl of popcorn, and saw that Dan was climbing out of his bed. He promptly fell over. Gasping, Phil put down the bowl and kneeled next to his body.

“Ugh,” Dan groaned. He pushed himself into a kneeling position, holding his head in his hand. “I’m fine, I’m fine. It’s the orthostatic hypotension, I’d think.” He let his head roll back, his eyes closed. Phil’s heart leaping, Dan opened his eyes and smiled. “I’m good, I swear.”

“God, Dan, why don’t you just give me another heart attack?” Phil said, reaching out his hand to help Dan to stand up again.

“Dizzy, just dizzy,” Dan said absentmindedly. “It’s nothing. Just annoying.”

“Let’s get you back into bed,” Phil answered. “I can’t have you fainting on me again.”

“Okay. But seriously, you get in too. It’s your bed anyway, so technically I’m the intruder.”

Phil, helping Dan climb back into bed, couldn’t help but feel awkward. He quickly took his hand back and smoothed his jeans, fidgeting. “Thanks.”

Phil laid his head against his headboard and grabbed the bowl of popcorn that he had made previous to the soup. He put a handful into his mouth and said, trying to make out actual words, “You want some?”

Dan reached into the bowl and grabbed his own hand of food.

They watched for a few minutes, with Phil laughing too much at the funny parts and Dan frustratingly telling most of his least favorite characters to die already, and Phil laughing too much at Dan.

The episode ended on a cliffhanger, and Dan snorted at Phil asking if he wanted to see the next episode and said sarcastically, “I dunno, I think I’ve finally gotten over my anime obsession. What about you?”

Phil smiled and let Netflix do its thing.

“Fifteen minutes into Netflix and Anime and he gives you that look,” Dan said, referring to the smoldering look Naegi had on his face on the cover of the anime. Phil laughed.

_-_ | _-_

“An hour into Netflix and Anime and we’re still watching anime,” Phil said an hour later. He looked over at Dan and, for the first time that night, realized that Dan had fallen asleep, his head lolling to the side and an excellent drool already hanging out of his mouth.

Phil didn’t have the heart to wake him up to tell him to get back to his own bed. Phil had fallen asleep with his computer on the couch before, so he knew that it was an option. And, as he didn’t want to actually address what they needed to, he couldn’t just sleep next to him. Especially not since Dan was sick. It’s not that he didn’t mind being sick, but Dan was usually more grumpy and sarcastic than he usually would be than if he were completely healthy.

He ignored Dan’s snores and crawled out of his bed as quietly as he could. Phil creeped down the dark hall and willed himself not to get scared. Yeah, Phil wasn’t particularly afraid of the dark, but he didn’t exactly like it.

He could still hear Dan’s snores as he peered into the living room, and he smiled sleepily. Yawning, he plopped himself onto the couch and settled into his previously-made butt crease. He opened up his laptop again and logged himself into Tumblr.

He scrolled for about an hour, getting up to date on his favorite stupid things; anime, youtube, games, cat photos. He landed upon multiple fanarts of him, of Dan, of both of them: Phil liked the realistic ones and simply scrolled past the unsavory, trying not to flush every time he would see them.

It was the kind where he actually looked like himself when he felt uncomfortable. Plenty were tame enough, but some varied on something you would only see if you were trying to find them. Phil was definitely not trying, at least not consciously, but he always found it hard to imagine how people who didn’t even know them could find what Dan couldn’t.

It was obvious to Phil that Dan cared for him. Why, he didn’t know, but he cared. And how deep that feeling went was what Phil couldn’t tell.

Phil had built up something akin to longing. It was a longing for more. He and Dan had made a relationship together that was, at the very least, somewhat closer than friends. They knew they were best friends, but anything other than that wasn’t ever discussed, even though everything was there.

Phil had known that Dan was bisexual from the very beginning of their relationship. His MySpace page had it in his bio, so he knew automatically. And also didn’t care. Phil had come out about a year ago as gay.

“So Dan…” Phil had started.

Dan took another bite of his food. “Yeah, Phil?”

“You should know something about me.”

Dan held back a smile and put his fork down. It was obvious what was about to happen, so very obvious. “Go on. You can trust me.”

“I think I’m… Well, I know I’m… Well…” Phil’s face flushed with color, even though he was trying desperately not to have that happen.

“You don’t have to say it now, you know. If you don’t feel com-”

“I’m gay,” he finalized.

Dan quietly stood up from his chair and walked over to him, finally putting his friend into an embrace. Phil smiled weakly, hands shaking from anxiousness. He closed his eyes, and let himself cry.

Though he knew he would be accepted, admitting it to himself and coming out to the person who he cared about most - that was hard. Phil barely cried, only a few tears, but it was enough to have Dan hold him for what seemed like an hour. When he did finally let go, however, Phil wished he had stayed.

Finally, Dan sat back down into his previous chair. “I’m glad you told me. It’s okay, by the way. I mean, it’s kinda obvious that I’d be okay with it, but you know. It’s good. Anyways, about that goose…”

Phil peered once more into his room, trying to reason with himself to go into it. Dan knew it was okay, obviously, Dan would be okay with it, but would Phil? Would Phil have the strength to simply be with that one person who changed it all for him, dragging him out of his loneliness and allowing him to accept himself for who he was? How could Phil allow himself to fall asleep next to someone like that?

How could Phil allow himself to intrude onto something that was already perfect, too perfect, something that might be destroyed by his stupid head? How could Phil allow himself to mess up the one thing that was good, that was pure in his life?How could Phil allow himself to be?

His self-doubt was a problem, of course, but he always shook it off. There were people out there that didn’t want his obvious queerness, yes, even he could see how obvious it was, and he knew that with it, he would take blows that he didn’t need to take. Of course, Phil would do it, in an instant, for Dan… But Phil knew Dan wouldn’t. It wasn’t that he wasn’t strong enough, Dan was stronger than him by far, but Phil wouldn’t put him through that. And Phil, starting up a conversation like that, like “Last night was nice. You wanna do it again?”, like becoming more-than-friends, like handholding and cuddling and kissing and…

Phil walked back to the couch, shaking himself for even thinking of the idea.

_-_ | _-_

Dan opened his eyes and sniffled. He was still sick. Dan almost cursed under his breath, but the sight made him stop.

A messy-haired Phil, facing the other way. His pajamas were simple, just a tee and shorts, but he was there.

Dan felt a red blush creep up his cheeks. Last night, he strained. Last night they just watched anime. Dan had told Phil he could be in the same bed together. Phil had made soup and popcorn. Phil had… Accepted. Phil had crawled into his bed, and didn’t say anything about the fact that Dan himself had just randomly gotten into a bed that wasn’t even his own.

Dan had fallen asleep when they were watching the show, and Phil… Had stayed. He just… Went to bed next to him.

It wasn’t awkward, it was… Something different. He hadn’t really understood what made them so happy together, so comfortable around each other, but this… Was new.

And Dan kinda liked it, too.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading this.
> 
> I super really appreciate it.
> 
> First fic, so... Yeah.
> 
> I'll catch you on the flipside.


End file.
